In third grade I had a thing with pigs. My friends Cari and Marly and I had imaginary pigs and they would fight in the computer lab and get tangled up in the parachute in gym class and get us in trouble during Mini Math with Mrs. Krueger, who finally segregated us from each other in order to nip our hyperactivity due in part to pigs in the butt. I was a third grader. I was like, 5. I don’t know. And Cari would steal her horse’s sugar cubes when her dad wasn’t looking and we’d eat sugar cubes at recess in the tunnel slide. What do you expect?